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Craft Time: Make A Thanksgiving Day Chocobo Hat



It’s 4 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. You’re probably stuffed with turkey right now, or stuffing yourself with turkey, or waiting to stuff yourself with turkey. (If you’ve eaten ham, get the hell out of it.) You know what that means? It’s time to make hats!

Making turkey hats is an old Thanksgiving tradition. It’s not hard to see why; Turkey hats combine two of our favorite things: food and fashion. Hats also make your head appear bigger, which will convince people that your brain is huge.

People who wear hats are often the life of the party. Need proof? Take a look at this photo of Spock.

Boy what a boring guy. What if we tossed him a hat?

Instant party animal! You too can be that guy. But instead of making the traditional turkey hat for Thanksgiving, why not make a hat using the first bird in the game: the Chocobo.

Read on to find out how.

Making Chocobo hats is a fun family affair. It is also convenient. If that annual post-meal brawl breaks out, you’ll already be armed with scissors. Here’s what you’ll need to get started:

  • Construction paper (all colors)
  • Scissors
  • Glue (edible)
  • The unspoken loathing of your older cousins
  • Kenny loggin Top Gun Soundtrack

Start by cutting a piece of yellow paper into a large circle (don’t worry, it doesn’t smell.)

This is what a circle looks like:

Then cut out a beak and a few eyes. Here is what you are aiming for:

If your uncle starts yelling about how his ex-wife destroyed his boat or your nephews start a wrestling match in the living room, fire up Kenny Loggin’s “Danger Zone” and shut off the sound of the broken dishes.

Then: put it all together.

Families can be difficult. Is your mother yelling at you to take out the trash? Is your dad yelling at you because he doesn’t want you to cut all of the cat’s hair? Does an old man complain that you broke into his house and stole his war bonds? Ignore them. They don’t understand you. Are you an artist. You need these War Bonds to make your Chocobo Hat.

It’s time to put it all together. Glue your beak and eye to your circle, then glue the entire Chocobo head on another piece of paper (or a war tie) and wrap it around your head. Feel free to add a few little extra details to your hat. Make it truly yours. Add extra strands to the hair or a tousled forehead. If your Chocobo is filled with friendship and magic, add some glitter.

If you’ve followed our instructions carefully, you should end up with something like this:

* Results may vary

Here is. You are now free to experience the true joys of Thanksgiving. Throw away the unused scraps of paper (ignore their pleas for mercy; they weren’t good enough to make the cut.) I wouldn’t know what to do with this random ailment.

And remember, if you get bored later on, you can always make Chocobo hats for your pets.

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